How we live and love.



These are wild and uncertain times. I do hope you are finding ground beneath you as the world shapeshifts around us.

A blog I wrote in 2011, Secret Code, resurfaced with a comment from a stranger reminding me of this profound lesson taught to me by my then five-year-old son. The rituals, the day-to-day, the reminders, the way we bake love into the transitions of our life – that is how we love. It’s not the proclamations, gifts, grand gestures, or goals. It is the little things – the proofs of love – that make the meaning.

As creatures who crave meaning, we have the possibility to craft the narrative of how we love and are loved through these small daily actions.

My son is now 20 and lives several hours away. The secret codes we have to make meaning of our relationship have shifted. Long phone calls, Youtube video links, inside joke emojis. It’s this practice of “get love. give love.” that never stops fascinating me. The process of showing up and choosing to leave tangible clues revealing the hidden pieces of our hearts.

How are you living and loving these days? What secret code will you create?

I’m leaving breadcrumbs as we close out the final days of 2020: I’ve tucked love notes inside each holiday card going into the mail. I am writing love notes to strangers (all the details here.) I will soon write the annual stocking letters to my kids. I have about ten painted love notes looking for the perfect spots to be hung up for passersby.

Wishing you the secret code your heart desires. We need each other.

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